Just A Memory
by sleipnirfenris
Summary: The Year That Never Was was only lived by everyone and remembered by few. Those that do remember struggle to cope. Martha Jones POV.
1. Chapter 1

Just A Memory

DISCLAIMER: I do not Own Doctor Who or any of it's characters. They are the sole property of the BBC etc.

_I hadn't intended to Write about Miss Martha Jones because to be honest I don't think she's that good an actress but the idea just poured onto the page. The intention was the write a drabbled turning out to be a ficlet. I guess I could only ever write a ficlet concerning her anyway. There will be another chapter._

_Oh and it's Miss Martha Jones speaking..._

The Year That Never Was was just a memory. It never happened for most but for me it did. It will always live with me and for that I am grateful.

I know you must be wondering why. I endured such terrible things. I saw destruction and death, went without food for days, the water I did manage to find was often unclean but that doesn't matter. The Year That Never Was helped me understand Humanity as a whole. I know now what we are. We are not the Apes that he calls us. We are not the strongest, the best nor the most intelligent of the species in the Universe and cannot be brilliant at everything but one thing we are is resiliant. We endured all the horror, the blood, the gore, the appoloclypse and still he surivived. Even after our minds were scarred and our lives were ruined we retained a hope that this was not everything. That one day, one day this would end and we could go back to the way we were. Back to the life that we dreamt of and once took for granted.

But not now. Never now. We long for a proper bed and a mattress and no matter where I go I see people happy and laughing through it all. The undercurrent of fear and sorrow is far too strong. It's too real and vital to ignore. Without that fear we would give up. WE would accept the squalar, the rotten wood and the falling down buildings. The shelter that was breaking above us and allowing the rain to pour down upon our heads. That would be our everything. It would be acceptable if we lost that fear. The fear keeps us hoping. It keeps us living and fighting in our own ways.

Everywhere I went I saw people living in the slave camps. Living and working for that monster that once called itself our leader. That fake ruler of Great Britain that would strive to undo us, that struck fear into our hearts was nothing without us. Somehow they all knew that. They kept working in fear of being sliced and diced by the 'Toclafane'. Even now I snap at people if they mention them. If they call them that because they aren't that. The Toclafane don't exist they never did.

The most horrifying thing that came out of all of this was the knowledge that we did this to ourselves. There was no invasion, no taking over. It was us that destroyed us.

The Year That Never Was is just a memory.


	2. Chapter 2

JUST A MEMORY PART 2

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO NOR DO I WANT TO. I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS NOR WOULD I EVER WANT TO. ITS ENTERTAINMENT QUALITY IS THE ONLY THAT THAT I VALUE. THANK YOU. ENJOY

_Here's the next part. There may be another. I'm basically thinking a little outloud now. Please read and review as always._

The Year That Never Was is just a memory. It is a living memory non the less. We may have survived it all but we are the damaged ones. You don't remember and I do. We do. The few of us that were on that ship hovering above the Earth when it all finally ended it. When the machine was destroyed.

And I'm glad you don't. It's not something you'd ever want to endure let alone remember for the rest of your life. Or like my friend - forever. I don't expect you to understand. I expect you to take this as the ramblings of a mad person that should be locked up straight away but if you ever met me. If you ever looked me in the eye you would never suspect that I wrote this. I would never admit to remembering. Not to those that didn't got through it - what was the point? You don't remember and you never will. That's final.

Why? Time reversed. Time revered an entire year so that all the death and destruction. Time reversed so that Sol 3 was never going to be extinct. Humans hadn't nearly been wiped from the face of the Earth and the sky didn't open up and crash with thunder or bleed red and black. There was the usual hubub of normal life, passing us by as we marval at the beauty of it all.

But I had to leave him. I had to let him go. That life wasn't for me anymore. I had a broken family to take care of. They had witnessed it from high up, unable to do a thing about it, worrying for me. Jack told me of the hope they all felt when that transmission went out on the last day. I was still alive. The only human to walk the Earth and survive. The only person to escape Japan alive, the flickering fire burning at my heels. I barely got out in time. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I loved him, he didn't see that and he saved the world.

We saved the world together.

_A/N Wow. I have no idea where this is coming from. It could be because I can't wait for Reset in Torchwood :P_


	3. Chapter 3

Just A Memory part 3

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO OR MARTHA. THEY BELONG TO THE BBC.

The Year That Never Was is just a memory. I tell that to myself as I comfort my sister Letitia. "He's gone," I whisper to my sister as she sits sobbing her heart out to me. They rarely talk about what happened to me and I barely talk about it to them. I wasn't there you see. I was never on that ship long enough to endure the horrors that The Master put them through. Tish phones Jack on a regular basis because she feels he's the only one that can understand. Apparently they are going to meet up next weekend if he can make it. If and only if the world doesn't decide to get destroyed that day.

Tish used to feed him. She tells me little things. LIke how Jack was full of life whenever she was with him but sometimes that fire wasn't there. Sometimes he was covered in blood and barely lucid. Tish couldn't tell whether it hurt more to see him pretend or to see him so helpless and broken.

"He was jealous. Our ability to survive after everything else had died grated on him. His own planet is gone along with his people yet there we were. Still living. Still surivivng. Still fighting," I whisper to her. It's the least I can do. "It's just a memory,"

She yells at me. It's not just a memory is it if you relive it every waking second, when you close your eyes when you go to sleep. Everywhere you look there's just death and bodies and empty streets and fires burning.

You see that's what happened to her. She was up on the Valient safe from all that death but next to the pain and sorrow. She was living with that evil.

Although my parents are back together and they appologize for betraying me I know they don't mean all of it. They mean about the part that they were wrong. The part where they were tricked when they had no reason to doubt Saxon. The satellites. The ArchAngel network was his saviour and his downfall. It may have sent us subliminal thoughts but it linked the human race toghether. That amount of psycic energy is dangerous.

So I told a story. I told them to stand together and defy the starts and the fate set for them. I told them on the day of the countdown shout one name. Be consumed by it. Believe in only one thing. Think one name.

And that name was Doctor.


End file.
